Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
