If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
