Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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