Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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