so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
