I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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