Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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