This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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