I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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