somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
