I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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