You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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