Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
