11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
