do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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