He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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