so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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