Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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