Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
