Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
