There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
