these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
