they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
