The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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