I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
