What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
