I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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