Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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