Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
