Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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