I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
this beer tastes like vomit already
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
