The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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