About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
