is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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