so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
