Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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