No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
