woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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