i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
