yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
