You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if only i could text you this smell
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
