Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
