i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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