how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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