hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
