How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
