i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
