found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
