GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
