i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
