I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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